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The Shape I'm In

"As long as I don't have someone to know,
I have no one to know but my self,
The self as a medium through which I know
Not others but life in the form of relations
Between self and others, others and others,
Self and self. Self as relation^�" Oh mercy.

You must be merciful to ask for mercy.
You cannot be merciful unless you ask for mercy.
This loveless shiver has been with me
A home away from home on a day
That wouldn't seem average at bottom
Were it not disguised as hell and highwater
Where you have to say hello to the cop
To wish happy birthday to the horse beneath it
Turning a corner now, out of sight and soon mind
As I play music to watch grrrls-even-if-they're-with-guys-by
On my laptop keyboard (but that's just my leash on life).

One turns her back and smiles as I do a little flourish
At the end of the bridge to "The Shape I'm In."
This, and the wind blowing her long black dress up
Just enough to advertise her yellow boots,
Nudges light through the shadow of the leaves
A breeze bids dance on my notebook to the sound
Of boots and engines. And though this comes
Too near the praising of myself the mere sight
Of an unhelmeted cyclist reminds me there are
Birds nearby, not yet usurped.