WHAM-O

The original hula hoops were made from metal, bamboo, wood, grasses, and vines.

Arthur "Spud" Melin founded the Wham-O company which also helped
popularize another ancient toy. Guess which one?

The device, made of Marlex (r), the tradename for crystalline
polypropylene and high-density polyethylene, is also highly popular
among crystal meth addicts. No one knows why.

However, many "companies" "re-invented" their versions of the hula
hoop made of modern materials like plastic, rocks, and paper with
added twists like glitter, sound, squirting devices, mood-divining
color, small explosives, silicon chipmunks (r) , traffic reports, etc.
One company claimed their version of the hula to be a chastity belt,
however this was quickly proven wrong. In 1963, a version of the hoop
made from scissors was quickly recalled.

Most hula hoops which make sound are found in Las Vegas. Their
popularity, however, has declined ever since Elvis Presley's famous
vitamin-induced stage rant on July 12th, 1974 (r) , often refered to
by fans as "Desert Storm." This has resulted in an in-joke among two
Elvis fans, Lunch-head Loins, of New York New York New York New York and Arthur "Spud" Melon (no relation) of Ellis Island: "The hula loon has squirted the glitter-building," or something to that effect.

This poem appears in the 2005 Anthology
View all poems by Rod Smith