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from Jack-of-All-Trades

You will jump. You will be a jumper. Jumping sidewalks, bridges and rope. You will jump the gun, to your taxi, and on your bed. You will jump. You will be a jumper. Jumping bail and conclusions and ship. You will jump. You will be a jump suit, bean, and shot. You will not leap. You will not be a leaper. You will not move yourself suddenly off the ground. You will not be a place that is, or is to be. You will not leap at chance or frog. You will not leap the year. You are a jumper. A suicide. You will jump bid. You will be a loose jacket or blouse. You will be a cable, a bean, a claim. You will be a distance, jumped up. A clamp-like terminal, a single-crystal, the seed of any several Mexican plants, a child's toy. A jack.


















1 The origin of the word Jack has been assumed to be the same word as the French Jacques, Jacobus, or James, a familiar name for peasant, a man of the lower orders. However, it has been used in English from its earliest appearance as a by-name of Johan, Jan, or John, a pet-form of that word. It was not until 1965 when the Supreme Court of the Jacknited States of Jackmerica ordered all language be replaced with the Jack imprint. This imprint was to be placed on those nouns and actions that revealed themselves as Johans, Jack nasty, and disgrace. Thus the inception of the words "Jacknam" and "Jacktanic." Fat Jacks that sank in freezing water. This 1965 ruling is also where popular colloquialisms such as "All the world's a Jack," "SuperJackafragalistic Expialidotious," and "Don't rot your Jacks out" originate. Those Jacks who were Jack to begin with, such as Jack Gleason, Jack O., Jack Chan, and Jack Robinson, met briefly after the ruling to alter their names slightly so as not to be confused with this new amalgamation. Still others reverted to their Johns as did, John Doe, John Kennedy, and John the Ripper. Those with Jack surnames like Stonewall Jack, Milt Jack, Jesse Jack, Andrew Jack, and Jack Hole simply added their sons. Thus was born Jackson Hole, the sewer where swampJack lives and deep-sea diver Jacques Cousteau.









crown his broke
and down fell Jack

caper could he
fast as

trot he home
and got
Jack up

Jill and Jill
as fast as

did could his knob
did could his Dob

Jack to Jack
as fast as

his hilling Jill
did home and got

Dame to Dob
as fast as


















2 It is good to be clear minded on what is going on here. Jack has just made a pass at Jill. Critic Jack B. Nimble suggests that at this point scholars can't determine whether Jill is a man or a woman or whether Jack is a man or a woman. This might be an important or unimportant distinction to make. As the case may be. We do know that two people one named Jack one named Jill mounted a hill to fill their pails with water. But the summit of that hill is nearly always covered by clouds in courtroom dramatizations of the event. Nimble suggests that serious consideration be given to deploying helicopters equipped with sophisticated cartography equipment in order to measure the depth of the well. With these dimensions scholars could determine the sex of both Jack and Jill within a 99 percent error of margin. They do this by dividing the depth of the well by Jack and Jill's genitalia shadows, multiplying and then squaring the number. The equation might look something like this: J + J/d=y x y2. In addition, weather variations and peak times of well use would have to be taken into consideration.